Soul Shot
by zombiekyller
Summary: '"Let's teach these kids how to be bad. They live such terrible lives of utter decietful boredom. Let's show them how to live." Zik said, showing off her pearly white fangs in a devious array of joy. T for language. Only continued for good reviews.
1. Chapter 1

"Today, we're dissecting manatees!" a very chipper man with a nail through his head and an unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth chimed. He resented the fact smoking wasn't permitted on school grounds. Oh how he'd love the sweet taste of nicotine and lung cancer on his lips again. But his lust was quickly distracted by bright, glittering, silver, trays being wheeled in his classroom. He danced over, grabbing a hold of the clean white sheet covering what was going to soon be out in the dumpster.  
>"Aren't those endangered?" someone interrupted, raising an eyebrow.<br>"No... Just protected." the man shrugged. He didn't see anything wrong with using a species that had less than five thousand animals left in the wild.  
>"Isn't that still illegal?" another student whispered.<p>

"Enough with the legalities! Just enjoy the day's activities." the man grinned, eager to get off the subject of how legal things were. He once again took a hold of the gorgeous white sheet, only to be interrupted by a phone call. "What?" the man snapped. "New students? Send them in." he waited silently for about five minutes, twitching with sheer anticipation. The man drummed his fingers on the desk for what seemed like years. He was getting more fed up by the minute. Nothing happened. Dr. Stein, as he was called, abandoned waiting for the new arrivals and grasped the sheet once more. He ripped it off, expecting to see the gross, gray, lifeless, body of an endangered sea creature. But instead, he was greeted by something entirely different.

A young girl with raven black hair, a huge hooded jacket rolled over to expose her stomach, and big, baggy, blue jeans sat straight up. She had both hands angled to make her look like a zombie and her mouth was hanging open to reveal sharp, inhuman, fangs.  
>"Hello, kiddies!" The girl hopped up onto two feet, grinning proudly to show off her pearly white Fangs. She was quite obviously very happy with them.<br>"Are you the new student?" Dr. Stein asked. He was putting aside the fact his manatee was gone for the moment but after the girl was introduced, he would interrogate her about them.  
>"Studentssssssss!" she hissed. "Leo! Step forth and reveal yourself!" There was some movement on one of the other carts. The girl over the cart opened her mouth to mutter something mean about Zik and her boyish looking body.<p>

Before she could say anything, her eyes were glued to the boy. He had the most gorgeously luscious hair she'd ever witnessed. It was a perfect golden brown, the color of a lion's mane. His hair even looked like a mane as it puffed out and dripped down to his neck. He gave a sarcastic wave before stretching out and lying down as if he were going to take a nap.  
>"And you are?" Dr. Stein pointed at the girl. She was currently rather busy wiping blood and preservatives off her jacket and ignored him.<br>"I am Zik! But you can call me Z or Zi. Or Zik! Be outrageous and don't abbreviate my already only three letter long first name!" She stuck her tongue out and made big gratuitous movements with her arms, cackling in an odd way while she spoke. Zik lay back down as well after letting out a big yawn.

"What did you two do with today's experiment?" Dr. Stein inquired. He sounded calm at first but if they weren't somewhere safe, he was going kill them.  
>"Was today's experiment the traditional rolling of sushi?" Zik sat up, looking a little worried.<br>"What? No!" Stein snarled.  
>"Leo! It wasn't sushi and you're probably going to die." she snickered. Zik found it rather funny that her friend was going to die.<br>"He ate one?" Stein spat. Leo looked over at him and nodded. He didn't seem to have any real expression or feeling.  
>"He ate two." Zik grinned a sharp toothed grin. She scraped her fingers against her scalp, causing a torrent of white flakes to shower down like snow.<br>"How?" the teacher yelped.

"He was hungry, duh! Leo's eaten far more a trillion other times. I know because the bastard ate my muffin! It was chocolate vanilla swirl with cinnamon streusel. And I will never forgive him..." Zik cracking her knuckles with a snarl in her throat. She glared at Leo who stuck up his middle finger. The girl responded by wheeling her cart over, a hellbent snarl on her face. Zik reached in her pocket, rooting around before grasping a large roll of silvery duct tape and tying Leo down. He didn't seem to struggle, looking as if he almost enjoyed it. She pulled up her jeans to reveal a big pair of purple and black boots. Zik slammed her foot down on his crotch, growling lowly.  
>"Stop! We have to get him to a hospital or something!" Stein ordered.<br>"Nah, I can just purge him." Zik said. She cut the tape using a huge hunting knife and helped him up.

Zik blankly punched her friend in the stomach before scurrying away quickly. She was worried he'd throw up on her jeans which she cared about immensely. But instead of reacting normally, Leo vacantly raised an eyebrow. Zik shoved her hand in his mouth, running away again. A few other students dove under their desks, whispering and hissing about how disgusting the new kids were. Leo made a terrible heaving noise, acting as if he were going to puke. The students turned away, covered their eyes, and some even fled the room. They couldn't imagine what it would look like if a scrawny boy regurgitated two huge animals. But instead of hearing the grotesque sound of liquid hitting the tile floors, rampant laughter filled the room. Zik and Leo were doubled over on each other, clapping their hands and grinning ear to ear. The two bumped their chests together as a final victory motion.

"Gotcha bitches! Leo's never puked in his life! It can't be done!" the girl giggled cynically. She put her arm around his shoulder and he wrapped his around her waist. Zik shoved him down onto the floor, laughing as she jumped onto his cart. She pushed off, sailing straight into Dr. Stein's desk.  
>"Did you not eat them?" he asked, becoming optimistic.<br>"Nah, Leo ate one and we put the other in the closet." Zik smiled. Stein peered back to see Leo holding up a sign that read 'Don't worry; I've never felt sick before in my life. I can digest anything'. There was a loud slapping noise as Zik placed the carcass of a gray marine mammal on his desk. She wiped her hands off, snaking her way to an open seat in between a boy with a star tattoo on his shoulder and a girl with two blonde pigtails. Leo sat down quickly while Zik clawed her way up onto his shoulders.

"I'm Black Star, super awesome amazing assassin." the boy with the tattoo grinned, extending a fist. Leo slammed his own fist against Black Star's, nodding in approval.  
>"By the way, Leo doesn't talk. He's a mute. But I do!" Zik remarked in a half whisper half scream.<br>"Why not?" a pretty girl with a long stringy ponytail leaned over.  
>"Pft, I dunno! If I had to guess, he's too amazingly, fabulously, gratuitously, insanely, awesome to speak." Zik said, patting her meister's head. He snaked his hand upward, slapping it against his weapon's.<br>"I should stop talking..." Black Star noted. He very much supported the idea of not talking due to being too amazing.  
>"What about you two?" Zik pointed at the girl with pigtails and the beanie clad boy beside her. Leo leaned back to put his feet up on the desk with a bored expression lying on his face. The sudden change in position caused Zik to go tumbling onto the floor. "Oh, FUCK. YOU. LEO." she jumped into his lap and made herself comfortable.<br>"Uh... I'm Maka." the girl replied.  
>"And I'm Soul." the boy in the beanie said. They greeted each other with fist bumps and high fives instead of the conventional handshake Maka was hoping for.<p>

"And with that, I bid you kiddies farewell. Onward Leo!" Zik waved. She dug her heel into the boy's side and was soon marching away on his shoulders.  
>"You're just leaving?" Black Star inquired.<br>"Yep. If I'm not moving forward it's like I'm going to explode in a big symphony of guts and gore! Which would be lovely but not today. Today... I make a man out of this school. By raping all it's classrooms and hallways. ONWARD LEO." Zik screeched. Her human mount went flying towards the door and she let out a hyah like noise. However, Leo didn't care to duck so the girl's head slammed into the doorframe. The class erupted I rampant cackles while Zik raised one fist and went jostling back out. Black Star and Soul exchanged glances. They seemed to communicate telepathically at times.  
>"I gotta pee." Soul announced, raising one hand.<br>"Very well." Stein muttered, extremely pre-occupied by his diagram of scalpel techniques. The beanie clad boy hurried out of the classroom, avoiding Maka'a famous Maka Chop.  
>"I am leaving." Black Star said in a very bland way. He wasn't one for being inconspicuous or sneaky. The boy then marched out in a proud display of silly walks.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

"Yo, Leo!" Zik shouted, leaning forwards and squinting deeply. "Speed up! I think I see a cow!" Leo passed his friend a shred of stained paper and increased his speed considerably.

'Is it safe yet?' the note read. Zik went silent, hurling herself into a state of deep thinking. She ran over a few possibilities before deciding that, no, it wasn't safe. The girl rapped twice on Leo's skull, their sign for no when she or Leo couldn't answer normally. They'd come up with it when Leo had gotten paralyzed by a crazy witch and could only move his hands. Zik patted her stomach, that witch had tasted good. So salty and evil and tangy, yet subtly savory. She could have gone on forever but her happy musings were boldly interrupted by the boy beneath her jolting to a stop. She went flying towards what was originally going to be Leo's next meal. Zik's head slammed up against an equally hard surface before she clattered to the ground in a stunning performance of clumsiness.

"Fuck!" the supposed cow growled. Zik looked up to see a handsome young man in a suit with weird eyes and a set of stripes in his hair.

"Evil cow! Satan! Satanic cow!" Zik cried, scratching the air with her claw like nails. She'd come to the conclusion that the young boy before her was a shape shifter and still, secretly, a prize winning heifer. Leo shook his head, he wasn't even going to try and decipher her insanity this time. There was no point.

"What?" the boy stumbled backwards, tripping over a trashcan and falling on his bottom. In seconds he was back on his feet with a measuring tape. Zik watched, both hands clutched to her head, as he eagerly readjusted the bin. "Perfect..." he whispered, snapping the tool shut. She exchanged a glance with Leo who nodded.

"Perfect? Well that's not right!" she cackled, drop kicking it across the hall. Trash spewed out in every direction which sent the boy into a fit. Zik and Leo, while trying to stifle their hysteric laughter, watched him scoot around and straighten everything out again. Unable to hold it back, the two exploded into a rampant attack of giggles and snorts. The young boy appeared not to notice as he was making sure all the other trash bins were lined up correctly.

"Symmetry..." he smiled, sighing in a very satisfied manner. Zik leaned up against him, Leo on the other side so the boy couldn't escape.

"So far we've got a crappy assassin, who's pretty cool, a whore-ish good girl, who's also decently acceptable, a slob, whom I have taken a personal interest in, a preppy girl, who I am unsure of seeing as she doesn't really talk, and now, our very own OCD victim, whom I will inspect fully before deciding my stance on." she grinned. Zik opened her terrifying mouth and turned to face the boy. "So what do you have?"

"Symmetry... Y-you're symmetrical..." he gasped, prodding Zik's body with one finger.

"Whoa!" she pushed him away. "Hands OFF." Zik wrapped her arms protectively around her body, she hated being touched. In fact, if anyone other than Leo dared to lay a hand on her, or even looked at her wrong, she got VERY upset. Without her consent, no one was allowed to touch her. So when the the young boy tried to measure her to be sure she really was symmetrical, it didn't go over well. Zik took an open palm; drawing it straight across his left cheek with so much speed and ferocity it left a large, scarlet, mark.

"Slap my other cheek!" the boy begged, dropping down on both knees. If he didn't have broken capillaries in both cheeks, he'd be unsymmetrical! And the boy couldn't take anymore what with those stupid white streaks constantly clouding his mind.

"Why? You some kind of S&M guy?" Zik inquired eager to add something else weird to her mental list of DWMA. The boy shook his head vigorously; frankly the idea of having a wound that didn't correspond exactly to another one disgusted him. Plus, whenever he bled Liz rushed to clean it and normally ended up hurting him or making it worse.

'He's got some kind of symmetric fix or something.' Leo held up another sign. Zik noticed a small doodle at the bottom of the page which displayed the boy being shot through one of his eyes and explained that he'd stay alive until the other was shot. The boy didn't want to say anything but it was true, he vowed he wouldn't die in an asymmetrical way.

"Oh I get it!" Zik clapped her hands together. "Tell me who you are first then I'll slap you."

"DeathTheKid." he blurted, eager to once again be perfect. Or as close to perfect as he could be with those damned stripes.

"You're shinigami-sama's son?" Zik said after a loud sucking noise that was supposed to be a gasp. She wrapped both arms around Kid, officially giving him permission to touch her. "Love me." Kid pushed her away and pointed sharply at his cheek.

"Slap me." he ordered. Zik did as she was told before embracing the black clad boy once again.

"I will be your scythe." she whispered. It was Zik's ultimate dream to be the Death's weapon. She knew everything about it. Every single word of every book she'd ever read was a guide to becoming the next great weapon. She forced Leo to train for hours on end so he could unlock her true potential. And, while neither of them seemed to care a great deal about anything, they both wanted nothing more than to be put in the next history book. Zik had enrolled in school for the sole purpose of having a better place to train as the streets of Death City didn't offer much.

"Would you please let go of me?" Kid asked, not enjoying her hug in the least.

"No! I love you too much." she remarked sharply, tightening her grip. Kid started to struggle in a desperate attempt to free himself. But all he managed to do was accidentally grope the girl which he apologized for instantly. Though Zik didn't reply, she was too busy being caught up in a wave of psychotic compassion. Leo tapped Kid on the shoulder and held one of his signs up.

'I apologize; she's bat-shit insane. Zik's a lot like cancer, she start to grow on you, eventually causes your hair to fall out (or rips it out herself), then you think you got rid of her but you find out you didn't, then she envelopes your entire body for a while, and when you're desperately clutching for a way out, she finally brings you the sweet salvation of death. Isn't she great?' it read. Kid suddenly got a very discouraged feeling and gave up trying to push her off. He found a way to sit down, hoping she'd leave if he didn't do anything and simply ignored her. But no such thing happened and he clinging continued for what seemed like years, though it was only about ten minutes. Kid noticed he had slowly started to change his opinion of her, she kept him nice and warm which was nice seeing as he'd been getting really cold lately. Zik was almost like a blanket, a big, crazy, violent, blanket that told you it loved you and whispered in your ear creepily.

"Leo!" someone cried. The boy snapped to attention, choosing a simple defensive pose to execute in case something bad was coming. He expected Zik to at least show a little concern but after a few seconds he realized she was asleep and snoring peacefully. Black Star and Soul appeared, running in a sort of half assed way. Leo gave a small wave before pointing at a lump in the corner. He pulled out his notebook and a pen, jotting down another note.

'She fell asleep on Kid. Be careful waking her up...' the note stopped abruptly. Soul nodded and went to lightly shake her awake but Black Star was already screeching in her ear.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE!" Zik shouted so loudly everyone jumped backwards. Kid used the moment of confusion to get out of her grip and escape down the hallway. He wasn't going near her again, ever again. Unless he got cold, then he might go back. She certainly had made a nice blanket, soft and fluffy but with a good amount of weight so you felt safe. Kid let out a groan; she was like a cancer and was growing on him rapidly. Black Star and Soul had already been completely infected by her and were extremely eager to see what she was up to. Though, currently, Zik was climbing up walls and trying to bite people. Leo started cackling, watching Soul and Star hop around while she scratched at their legs and ripped at their clothing.

"What the fuck man?" Soul cried, avoiding an aerial attack from the girl. She hit the ground, skidding across the recently waxed floor on all fours before whipping around and setting her target as Black Star.

"Leo! Do it." Zik narrowed her eyes at him. Leo shook his head; he would follow the somewhat saner Zik who'd told him it wasn't safe yet. Zik blew hot air from her nostrils, poising her light body in the perfect stance. She burst foreword, gritting her teeth and licking her lips. Leo ducked down, reaching out a single hand and grasping Zik by the throat. He threw her down in a single, sharp, movement. Zik's eyes got smaller as she impacted with the ground. Suddenly, she'd lost her want to slaughter them all. The girl blinked a few times, looking utterly confused.

"Da fuck was that?" Black Star whined.

"When you wake me up... The demons get mad." Zik hissed in a cryptic manner so eerie she gave the two boys goosebumps. "Just kiddin'! I'm like a sleepwalker, wake me up and I freak out in a large way. Any who! Come along children, I have candy." Soul and Star exchanged a look, raising one eyebrow quizzically. But, instead of doing the smart thing and leaving, they followed along like two loyal dogs. Zik hopped back onto Leo and whispered something in his ear. He immediately took off, going so quickly he was merely a blur. Leo led the boys to a wall before setting Zik down gingerly.

"Check it." she grinned, kicking the wall. Nothing happened. Zik tried again; unsuccessful. The girl marched backwards a few steps, tightening her boots and putting on Chap Stick. "HARUMPH." she yelled, jumping at the door. Leo shoved the door open seconds before Zik would have impacted.

"Nice!" Star and Soul cackled, exchanging fist fist bumps and high-fives. There was a loud clattering noise and Zik emerged from within the wall. In her hand was the gleaming silver body of a gun. She shoved it up against Leo's temple, grinning wildly.

"Don't shoot him! Are you insane?" Black Star hollered. Zik turned her head around, her free hand lightly pressed against her cheek.

"Yeah, I guess I am." she giggled. And suddenly the deafening roar of a gunshot filled the hall.

Blood spattered the walls, splashing against Zik's face.

"OH MY GOD!" the boys shrieked. Zik pointed the gun at Star and Soul.

"Down in the basement we go, we go!" she licked the blood off her lips, swallowing down the sweet, sticky, concoction. The girl forced her male companions into the large hole in the wall. They all stumbled down a set of moist stone steps, descending into pure darkness. Then, there was silence. Nothing but darkness and silence.

"What the FUCK is going on?" Black Star whispered.

"BWA HA HA HA HA!" laughter filled the room and Zik flicked a light on. She and Leo were rolling on the floor in sheer hysteria. Soul peered around the basement Zik had taken them to. It was bland, with a boiler in one corner and what appeared to be a refrigerator in the other. There were two big couches with springs sticking out and patches of mis-matched fabric keeping it together. He also noted the presence of two sleeping bags and a body pillow with a very small amount stuffing leaking out of it. Zik plucked a few bottles out of the refrigerator.

"Have a soda, we spent our last ten bucks on 'em." she tossed a rather stunned Black Star and Soul a soda before flopping down next to Leo on the couch.


	3. Chapter 3

"That was all a trick?" Soul growled.

"I knew it, I'm so amazing I could see it coming." Blake Star said, placing his fists on his hips. He cracked open the soda and took a swig. Soul flopped down on the other couch, getting jabbed in the back by a spring.

"Yep, all a trick." Zik tossed the gun onto the floor and peeled a packet of ketchup off Leo's head along with a bullet hole sticker. "Blanks and ketchup! A genius combination..."

"How'd you pull it off without even talking about it?" Soul asked. He felt a good deal of respect for someone who could pull off such an elaborate plan without any discussion or planning.

"It's kinda a telepathic thingy. I dunno. I can tell what he's thinking he tell what I'm thinking, it's really fuckin' weird. But, any who, I just got bored and came up with a plan. It would have been a lot simpler had we not met that amazingly gorgeous boy with the handsome hair and the beautiful symmetry. Oh I've got a soft spot for perfection... I distracted him while Leo snuck off and fixed one of the couches so I'd land on that when I flew down the stairs." Zik explained before sucking the soda dry. Leo let out a loud and extremely sarcastic snort. The way Zik described her plan was so nonchalant which didn't match the personality of the situation at all. But he was mainly annoyed by her fondness of Kid. Leo tossed his soda at Zik, wrinkling his nose at it. He hated sweet things and he was, surprisingly, still digesting the manatee from earlier so he felt no need to eat or drink anything for a while. Zik, however, was starving having not eaten in over a day. So she eagerly gulped down the soda, crunching the can I between her hands.

"Ding-dong dead-dong!" the bell chimed.

"We're under attack! Hit the deck!" Zik screeched.

"It's just the lunch bell..." Black Star said. He and Soul went marching up the stairs followed by a paranoid Zik riding on her meister's shoulders. She still wasn't convinced it was just a lunch bell. Zik looked around the lunch room blankly. Boring. DWMA was so boring. She wanted to just explode from the blandness. The girl pointed to the lunch line, her stomach roaring with famine.

"Whatcha want?" a very grotesque woman in a hair net and an apron growled. Zik tapped her chin, peering at the assortment of hamburgers and corn dogs. Her mouth became slippery wonderland of lust and starvation.

"Everything..." she gasped.

"Ten dollars." the woman grunted. Zik's heart dropped. That was ten dollars more than she could afford. She pointed to a random table, slumping over on Leo's head. Zik felt so depressed; maybe she'd find a piece of moldy bread in the trash like last time. She started to think, how could she get a surplus of food quickly and for free? Leo dropped her onto the picnic style table. He lay down on the bench, deciding I was time for a nap.

"Anyone wanna snort cocaine of my stomach for money?" she grumbled.

"Tempting." someone remarked.

"Fortysevendollars!" Zik blurted. She opened her eyes to see Dr. Stein on his desk chair.

"Get off the table, Zik. Meet me in the gym after the next bell. You're gonna do a demonstration!" he sang. The man pushed off, falling over backwards and nearly falling into a large group of children.

"You get off the table Doctor Sitting Informally To Try And Relate To His Students Because His Time Has Passed And He's Having A Mid-Life Crisis..." Zik huffed. She crossed her arms, growling an assortment of curse words silently. There was no way she was getting off that table. She was comfortable and no one interrupts her comfort and gets away with it.

"Would you get off the table?" another voice muttered. Zik opened one eye to see Kid standing above her with a perfectly folded lunch bag. She scrambled to grab his suit but slipped off the table and fell on her face. Her stomach let out another growl, so loudly that people stopped in mid sentence to listen.

"Having fun on the floor?" Soul craned his head down. Zik raised her middle finger and clawed back up onto the table.

"And for your information, yes, I was having fun on the floor." the girl said in a very righteous way. She snaked her hand out, trying to grab the sandwich off Soul's tray. He slapped her wrist sharply, leaving Zik to try and prey on Kid's food. The table was soon joined by two blonde girls, Maka, Tsubaki, and Black Star. All of which had big piles of food that taunted Zik's empty stomach.

"Do you not have a lunch, Zik?" Tsubaki asked, smiling innocently. Zik made a quick grab for Kid's bag before running away cackling.

"Not anymore, I don't!" she grinned. Zik took off running, tearing an apple apart with her giant fangs. Kid went fumbling after her, using his skateboard smartly. Zik casually tossed the apple core at a random boy before ripping a sandwich in two and gulping it down.

"Hey! Who threw this at me?" the boy said, standing up. Zik stopped in her tracks. She'd been blessed with an idea, a beautiful idea. Kid slid past her, grasping the bag and pulling it away.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Zik howled. She kicked off the wall behind her, sailing through the air and landing on another table. The girl picked up an apple and, before she knew it, had started the greatest food war DWMA had ever seen.

Food was flying everywhere. Slapping against un-expecting faces and ruining shirts. For most people, the cafeteria had become a Hell-hole. But for Zik and Leo, it was as if god himself was showering them with gifts. Zik had already filled her pockets to the brim with fruits and packaged muffins and was now shoveling a hamburger down her throat. She was seated happily under a table with Kid and his weapons. Enjoying watching the boy have a panic attack over how asymmetrical everything had become. Zik suddenly felt very sad, pulling a hunk of pound cake out of her pocket and extending it towards Kid.

"Damn... I'm so sad I could die... Shit..." he mumbled while the shorter blonde girl slapped her feet against the ground, spraying marinara sauce everywhere.

"Come on, loosen up." Zik smiled. "Just imagine its war and you're General Fuckin' Awesome."

"Super assassin!" Black Star cried, ducking his head below the table. Zik freaked out and slammed her boot into his face out of instinct.

"Oh hey! Sorry, Star!" she waved. Black Star rubbed a slice of pizza in her face, cackling.

"Gotcha!" he laughed playfully. Zik took a hold of his arm before he could pull away.

"Gotcha. Touch me again and I will crush your ribs into a fine powder, rip your heart out of your chest, season it with the powder, and eat it. Every. Last. Bit." Zik snarled, saliva oozing down her sharp teeth and dripping onto the floor. The girl then burst into laughter, imagining eating the boy's heart. Oh how good she'd look with fresh blood dripping down her chin and making her hands warm and slippery. Black Star quickly left the table, crossing his arms protectively over his chest.

"Ding-dong dead-dong!" the bell chimed. "Class Crescent Moon report to the gym immediately." Zik slithered out of the cafeteria as discretely as possible. She'd get in serious trouble if they knew she started the fight. Though she planned on leaving the second her demonstration was over. Once outside she jumped back onto Leo, this time having him carry her instead of riding on his shoulders. She wanted to be nice and rested so she could really show the kids what she was. Zik had a sick sense that they underestimated her as just another psychotic weapon. She was eager to prove them wrong because she and Leo were most certainly not stereotypical meister and weapon. They were different in every way possible. She'd love to see someone try and categorize her as there was no way they could press her into a mold or shove her in a box. She remembered the time way back when she was three. Zik had been playing with one of those children's games where you have to put the shapes in the right holes. She'd been trying to shove the circle in the triangle hole when the orphanage director had come over. He'd taken the circle and with a smile gone to show her the right hole to put it in. Zik had grabbed the block, biting it into a triangle shape before pounding it into the square hole. The director had thrown her into the basement for ruining the block set. That was the second time she'd seen Leo, the little boy handcuffed to the boiler for reasons unknown.

"Hello everyone!" Dr. Stein cooed. He came flying in on his rolling chair, causing Zik to snap out of her flashback. She was standing in the center of the gym, sandwiched in between a silent Leo and an extremely excited Stein. "Since they ran out earlier, we're going to have a demonstration!" he cheered, spinning around wildly. Maka huffed out a deep breath, looking around in a bored manner. She looked at Zik's soul, seeing nothing super out of the ordinary except for its surprising amount of power. Maka turned her gaze to Leo, gasping. There was something weird about his soul, it was like a mix of two different things, meister and something else. Something she couldn't put her thumb on. Maka suddenly became interested in their demonstration, excited to see just what Leo was.

"And what do you suggest we demonstrate on..." Zik turned to Stein with an evil glare in her eye. "You?"

"It would be my honor, but I had Shinigami-Sama give me approval to bring someone on the list in for you to exterminate. That way you get something to eat." Dr. Stein grinned.

"How sweet of you, but as you can see I already got plenty of food today." Zik smiled, pointing to her swelled pockets. Leo decided he was going to take a nap while Zik and Stein battled it out. The tension between them was so thick you could slice it and serve it with crackers at a high class party. As for Zik, she didn't know whether to slap Stein or kiss him. It was the awkward kind of tension you spend your life trying to avoid but end up falling into.

"So I see... Well, anyway! Enjoy! Give us a good match." Stein pushed away, also feeling a little confused. He pressed a button on a small remote control and a large, see through, piece of glass slid down in front of the bleachers the other students were sitting on. The man pressed a second button and a large door flew open.

"Can you hear us in there?" Zik inquired, not worried about her enemy in the least. Stein nodded before pointing to the door in an attempt to encourage the girl. She smiled sassily, going through her pockets at a leisurely pace and sorting things into piles. Leo was still on the floor, sleeping peacefully. After sorting all of her things and seeing that her opponent still hadn't stepped in, she decided to lay down as well. Leo unconsciously snuggled up to her, wrapping an arm around her waist. At this point, it was obvious something had gone terribly wrong. Because instead of enjoying a fast paced, high stakes, battle, the students were watching Zik and Leo demonstrate their sleeping pattern. Stein pressed the third button on his remote. The soft sound of even breathing and Zik mumbling in her sleep was brutally interrupted by loud footsteps. Both kids snapped into action instantly. Zik hopped into Leo's arms and winked at him. He nodded, ready to fight. And suddenly, instead of a small girl, there was a huge, gleaming, glittering, syringe in Leo's hands. There were little lines down the center of the medical tool that appeared to symbolize how much was inside. On the front of the syringe was a little face with a jagged zig-zag line for a mouth and big, narrowed eyes. Kid looked up, noticing the weapon's perfect symmetry.

A pudgy man with a blood spattered apron and meat cleavers for hands came marching out into the open. His face was masked by what appeared to be a human muzzle and there were spikes jutting out of his gigantic black boots. From within her weapon Zik let out a gritty grin.

"Oh how fun will this be?" she licked her soft lips.

"Oh so fun." a voice that could only be Leo's answered


	4. Chapter 4

It seemed to be almost too easy for them. Leo grunted, shoving off the wall. He aimed off to the side just slightly so he could use Zik's point to slice the man's back open. Stein knew they could have killed him in one swing but it appeared they were very determined to show themselves off as much as possible. They were toying with the enemy, Leo slipping in between his legs, purposefully creating narrow misses. He started cackling, how easy did it have to be? He'd never claimed to be of a super high level or anything, but this was just a frolic. Leo stabbed the man in the leg before dashing away just in time to avoid a fatal kick. He did an array of delicate flips and spins before tossing the syringe into the sky. Zik reverted back into her normal self in mid air, landing the throw perfectly with one leg poised out to the side and one fist on the ground.

"Do it Leo." she ordered. Leo nodded, feeling a bit nervous. He knew what happened to the other people of his species. But he trusted that it wouldn't happen to him. Leo began his transformation, performing a series of hand signals.

"What's going on?" Soul asked, on the edge of his seat. Everyone was captivated by the battle, jabbering excitedly and cheering them on. They were fun to watch. With all their flips and stylistic twists, it was hard not to get sucked into the fight. Maka thunked him over the head with a book, completely enveloped by what was happening to Leo's soul. The boy went from being a scrawny kid to something completely different. Claws burst from his fingers, teeth ten times the size of Zik's sprouted in his mouth, and he became the legendary 'Lion Man'.

"Ladies and gentlemen! I present to you, an outcasted member of the immortal clan! Please put your hands together for Leo, the little lion boy." Zik waved her arms out gracefully. She looked like some sort of ringmaster; with a crazy glint in her eye and her tongue sticking out just slightly. The girl grabbed a hold of the newly grown tail, climbing onto Leo's back. That was when things got really elaborate. Zik and her lion friend began executing gorgeous tricks, taking the audience into a state of sheer hypnotism. Their showmanship was so striking it felt as though they were at a circus. It seemed as if they'd rehearsed for years, they could predict each other's moves and correspond in the perfect way. "Join me and watch a feat of physics in our fabulous finale! Which is to begin now!" Zik took a tighter grip on Leo's mane, trying not to hurt him. She dug both feet into his muscle, watching the man before them swing around blindly. He didn't stand a chance. Zik's heart started pounding with grit and excitement. This was the way she lived, clutching to the back of an untamed beast in the pursuit of becoming a weapon of mass destruction. That was what she wanted. And that was what she got. Leo went pounding up the man's sweaty back, a roar echoing out of his mouth. The students were all staring with the utmost of focus, questions flying through their minds at a million miles per hour. Maka didn't know how it was possible. She'd read about the immortal clan before, they were all wolves. And how was it even possible for someone to not only be a lion, but also be a meister. A successful meister none the less. While Maka was desperately trying to figure it out, Kid had his mouth hanging open. Such beautiful, symmetrical, showmanship. The battle was the closest to perfection he'd ever seen. It was awe inspiring. Leo snapped his mouth shut. He pushed back, claws releasing their tenuous grip on the man's flesh. Zik daintily heaved herself off, using his moist black nose to shove her thin frame further into the air. She executed a pirouette before slipping into the lean body of a syringe. Leo had left behind his lion form, now the scrawny boy he'd always been. He grabbed a hold of Zik, stabbing her into the man's neck. There was a bright, beautiful, flash of blue light. And then it was over. Zip was standing in the middle of the gym with a small glowing blue ball in hand. She poked a hole in the soul with her fangs before sucking out the gooey inside and devouring the crunchy shell.

"Woo hoo! Sixty nine souls bitches!" Zik slapped her hand against Leo, exchanging a giggle of satisfaction. Stein speechlessly released the glass barrier. He wasn't aware they had talent. He'd gotten a low level enemy just for that purpose. But no one was suspecting they had such amazing style. Zik and Leo enjoyed the split second of silence before a whirlwind of applause that let's you know you really surprised the audience.

"Does Shinigami-Sama know?" Stein jabbed his finger into Leo's chest. Zik slapped his hand away, huffing at him.

"Of course, you think we're stupid? He's and outcast, never made it with the clan. They tossed him in my orphanage because he didn't fit in. Something went wrong in the genetic code, he's like a mutation. Silly!" she smiled, poking Stein in the forehead so forcefully he fell backwards.

"How can he be a meister too?" Maka blurted.

"Yay! Questions! I approve of you now! Leo can't use the fighting style or full power of his clan, he wasn't around long enough to be taught. So I'm guessing that in exchange for all that power, he was gifted the ability to be a meister. Oh! And if you were ever wondering why I have such weird teeth it's because he spat blood in my face when I first met him and I swallowed a little bit on accident. So I have lion DNA runnin' through my veins! That's also the cause of my insanity! It's a trade off! You give up your mind and get these awesome fangs, some really hard nails, and a fabulous need for meat!" Zik explained, showing off her scary mouth.

"Are you either of you immortal?" Stein asked, wondering if you still got immortality if you were an outcast.

"Nope! You get your immortality after a certain right of passage in the clan so Leo doesn't even really count as a member. And he's never threatened a human's life or anything of that sort so he's completely safe to be around. Shinigami-Sama was so cool about enrolling us! I fucking love that man... He's so beautiful!" Zik moaned, dropping to her knees at the last part. She remembered that Death The Kid was in that class and immediately tackled him. The girl covered him with kisses and declarations of her love for him. Leo watched silently as Liz and Patty tried to pry Zik off of Kid who was flailing around unhappily. He smiled, that insane little girl had saved his life multiple times. Stein promptly decided to go try and save Kid from Zik's wrath. He grabbed a hold of the girl's feet and started pulling. Zik kicked him in the face before wrapping both legs around Kid. There was no way she was letting go of him, no chance in Hell. And the entire class spent the rest of their day trying to coax her away.

"Got any ideas, Leo?" Black Star rubbed the back of his head. Leo nodded, taking his notebook and smashing Zik over the head with it. The girl immediately jumped away, shielding her face and making odd whimpering noises. Kid scrambled away as fast as he could. He no longer felt the same cancerous feeling he'd experienced earlier. Leo slapped his friend a few more times before allowing her to curl up on his shoulders quietly. The two then trekked back to their newly made living area and, after an hour or two of furious boredom, went to bed.

* * *

><p>Sorry about the disgustingly short length of this chapter! It was written at four in the morning on my way to the Stanford Children's Hospital. Anyways, thanks for all the positive reviews and shit! It means a lot to me. If any of you have a suggestion for the story feel free to message me (I don't normally bite). Also, tell me what you think of me adding a little bit of romance (Like more Zik and Leo, or Leo and Maka or something along those lines). Cheers!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

"Good morning students… And Zik." Stein said, carefully setting a large burlap sack on his desk. He smirked and peered at Zik out of the corner of his eye to see what her reaction was.

"Good morning Dr. Asshole Who Tortures Children For His Own Sadistic Pleasure! It's a lovely day isn't it?" she smiled, sticking her middle up finger at him. Zik smugly crossed her sweatshirt covered arms and smirked right back at him. She was in a wonderful mood having found half a McMuffin in the trashcan that morning. She'd also managed to successfully steal the master key from the janitor and take all his chemicals for her own devious schemes. Zik had always wanted to make her own drug, and she was going to. Even though she had only grabbed drain cleaner and lemon pledge. But she had a feeling you could get high off that. Stein gave her a blank stare and watched Leo hold up his notebook.

'Suck it' was written in a very classy font. It was followed by a drawing of Stein sucking a lollipop with the word it inked into it. Stein held his middle finger up to the two and returned to teaching.

"Shinigami-Sama told me I had to do something other than dissections..." he trailed off, a piece of him slowly dying away. Stein loved cutting things so much, why did he have to do anything else? This new project wouldn't have any gore or any scalpels. How could he teach it? "Anyway... I chose to teach you the one most important lesson in life. Always use a condom. In this sack I have some chicken eggs, each meister and weapon will get an egg to take care of for the week and you have to... Oh... Fuck, I don't know, write about your experience?" he finished; still upset he wouldn't get to dissect the white rhinoceros he'd ordered until the week was over. The room erupted into loud moans of laziness and boredom. Though most of them came solely from Zik, who was flopping spastically around on the desk to express her unhappiness. The day had gone from really good to really bad in a very short amount of time. She was the exact opposite of maternal, Zik hated young children. They screamed and they puked and they were dirty and sticky, she had decided long ago that all children were mind-fucks. They messed with her head and tried to manipulate her. But the real source of her hatred was when a toddler had stolen the only chance she'd had at food for weeks. She'd been prancing along and had spotted an unguarded bag of fast food. Zik turned her back for two seconds to tell Leo and when she turned around it was in the hands of a five year old girl. And from that day on Zik had dispelled every child from her heart, including babies and pre-teens. If they weren't thirteen or older, she absolutely despised their existence. Stein carelessly threw eggs at all the children, one of the groups dropping theirs and ending the assignment immediately. Leo snatched his out of the air and set it on the table. He and Zik stared at it intently, stony expressions on their faces. The girl prodded it with one finger, silently hoping for it to explode into something cool. But no, it simply lay there.

"FUCKING. BORING." she announced. Zik went to slap it across the room but Leo lay down a protective hand. Black Star and Tsubaki did the same thing, staring at the egg in a confused manner.

"I'm gonna name you Lil' Star!" he exclaimed after a few seconds of silence. He pulled a sharpie marker out of his pocket and started scribbling a face on its smooth white shell.

"Oh, I like that name! What did you name yours, Zik?" Tsubaki smiled. Zik frowned deeply at her egg and picked it up.

"I shall name him... Pablo Eggscobar." she declared, slamming one fist down on the table. Zik tucked the egg down into her bra so she didn't have to worry about it.

"Go ahead and... Write its name on it or some such shit..." Stein sighed. He was so disappointed he was almost depressed. Zik leaned back in her chair, balancing on the back two legs. She no longer got the privilege of sitting on Leo because Stein had deemed it a distraction. In all truthfulness, Leo almost missed having Zik on his shoulders. It had been fun to slam her head into door frames and stop so quickly she fell on her face. He smiled to himself, Zik was utter perfection. She was pretty but just pretty enough to be smart and she always knew exactly how to liven life up. With her, no day was uninteresting and no night went without an adventure. Just last night she'd gotten stuck under the boiler and had required an entire stick of butter to get back out. Leo had been forced to go steal it from the teacher's lounge, which had caused problems for Stein when he decided to make toast for lunch. But after all that work, the two had found a tiny key that they dubbed the master key to all the lockers. That night was going to be ten times the adventure. Zik had vouched they go find Kid's locker, put something asymmetrical on the front, and use it as a trap so she could hug him some more. But Leo had wanted to use the master key to break into Stein's classroom and destroy everything. He did not like Dr. Stein. Neither of them supported him. Leo didn't like because he yelled at Zik and Zik didn't like him because he yelled at Leo.

"Yo, Star, lend a bitch a sharpie?" Zik held out her hand. Black Star nodded, tossing it up in the air for her to catch. They both miscalculated the trajectory, Zik leaning forward and Star having thrown it far too hard. Everything seemed to slow down to a sickening pace. Zik could only watch as the large, black, pen came flying at her acridly contorted face. It lightly bounced off her nose before falling into her hands, still in slow motion.

"How... How did you do that?" Maka raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. Black Star and Zik glanced at each other nervously.

"I-I don't know... Star, I'm scared!" Zik gulped. The two preformed a half hearted high five and Zik returned to her egg. She gave it angry eyes, a big handlebar mustache, and what appeared to be a bloody nose. The girl flipped her egg over and wrote 'Pablo Eggscobar, greatest yolk-filled drug dealer ever'.

'You're naming our child after a drug dealer? Really?' Leo held up his notebook, a colorful illustration of an egg riding a hippopotamus at the bottom.

"If I ever have a real child, and I do not plan on it, this will be his name. AND HE WILL SELL COCAINE." Zik declared, tucking the egg down her shirt and crossing her arms. Leo dropped his notebook limply. Once she settled on something, there was no reason to try changing it. Zik had made a decision and that meant she could no longer be swayed in another direction.

"I know a guy who could help you out with that..." someone offered. Zik ignored them. They obviously weren't part of the main group and therefore came of no use to her. Though she was intrigued by the promise of cocaine.

"Hey Star..." Zik began. Her newly made friend leaned closer. Star liked Zik's ideas, they always seemed to make his day more exciting. "Let's steal Stein's fun chair!"

"Why?" he remarked. Zik flicked the center of Star's forehead.

"Because we could wheel around in it! We could go tandem and jump that flight of stairs in that hallway." she winked, not bothering to be specific. Star leaned back, not sure whether to do it or not. But if he did steal the chair, and he did jump the stairs, he'd be known for more than just being the most amazing assassin ever. Maybe they'd even make a plaque to commemorate him! Thought the school probably would anyway. Zik wasn't thinking about getting a plaque at all. She just wanted to piss Stein off because ever since yesterday, she'd had this sort of brooding, deep-rooted, hatred for him and his stupid chair. Zik would definitely set that chair on fire. And then set Stein on fire, because that was simply the kind of person she was.

"You distract him, I'll take the chair." Star nodded. He watched from his seat as Zik went marching over to the teacher's desk.

"I don't think you should do this..." Tsubaki said. She had a feeling their hastily discussed plan was going to end badly.

"It'll be just as amazing as me, I promise." Star reassured her kindly. He crept over to the bottom row of desks and hunkered down.

"What is it Zik?" Stein asked. Zik put both hands down on his desk, grabbing a paperweight and tucking it discreetly in her sleeve.

"I was wondering if maybe I could ask you a question about this thing in the corner..." she trailed off. Zik led Dr. Stein away from his desk, dropping behind him. She suddenly jumped up and, in one crushing movement, broke the weight over his head. Stein tumbled to the ground in a heap. "Yeah mother fucker! That's how Zik does it! Welcome to the slaughter house!"

"Got the chair!" Star added. The two brought their hands together in a fabulous display of excitement and joy. Zik noticed that everyone in the class was speechless, giving herself a pat on the back for taking their breath away. Leo gave her a thumbs up and a big smile. He liked how grossly violent she was, it made for good fun.

"Fuck yeah Leo!" Zik punched one fist into the air.

'Fuck yeah Zik!" Leo held up his notebook and also lifted a hand into the sky. Stein suddenly lifted off the ground and began creeping towards Zik and Black Star. The two happy children were far too busy pushing each other around on the newly named 'Fun Chair' to notice the impending danger. A large hand grabbed both of Zik and Star by the collar and lifted them up.

"You'll clean the entire library after school today. Don't ever touch my chair again." Stein growled.


	6. Chapter 6: Excalibur Part 1

"Ah spray paint... The young delinquent's best friend." Zik mused. A can of bright red spray paint was hanging limply in her hand and a small white mask was wrapped around her nose and mouth. She and Leo were sitting in front of Stein's classroom, happily massacring the once clean walls. A very tall and menacing blue man was lying on the ground unconscious with a magic marker Hitler mustache adorning his upper lip. Zik had carved a large Z into his back to mark him as her property despite the large amount of dead skin that was now under her fingernail. Sid had been trying to get them to clean out the library like they were supposed to but obviously the confrontation had ended in Zik and Leo's favor. Neither of the children had any intention of taking responsibility for Zik's earlier actions.

'Hey Zik, you wanna set this place on fire?' Leo held up a sign and extended a small purple lighter in Zik's direction. He honestly didn't want to do anything of the sort but if he thought it might make Zik happy, Leo would be glad to. And if she did want to set the school on fire, he'd take the blame and make sure they only expelled him from DWMA.

"Fuck. Yes." Zik squealed. She pulled a small can of hairspray out of her pocket and grabbed the lighter.

'Where'd you get the hairspray?' Leo cocked his head to one side. He liked to portray emotion while using his signs because he didn't use quirks in his voice.

"Well, that key we found under the boiler last night opens all the lockers. I was going through looking for Kid's so I could leave him a surprise and I found Liz's. She had so much girly shit in there! I stole some makeup remover and some hairspray and such for when we start making drugs." Zik cackled. She was extremely eager to see how Kid reacted when he opened his locker the next morning. Leo could only imagine what his partner had put in there. He had a feeling it was some sort of wild animal or an entire rose bush. That had happened back at the orphanage on Valentine's Day, poor Jimmy Carter would never be the same. Though Leo had found it endlessly entertaining when Zik had told him jimmy's unfortunate incident that night.

"Yo! Zik! Leo!" someone cried. Zik whipped around, flicked the lighter on, and sent a cascade of flame in the cries direction.

"Hands up, mother fucker." she ordered in the most intimidating voice she could muster. The flames cleared away quickly to reveal two extremely frightened boys. One of which had three stripes going through half his hair and the other had a large star tattoo on his right shoulder. Both of them had their arms shooting straight up, Kid wincing at the asymmetrical wall graffiti.

"Please don't kill me..." Kid gulped. "Not in such a terrible hallway..."

"Kid! Star! Here I am with my hair a mess in mid arson!" Zik remarked. She tossed the can of hairspray over her shoulder before tucking the lighter into her pocket. Most girls would have kept the hairspray but, no, not Zik. She found no use for frivolous cosmetics but millions of uses for fire. Including setting homeless people aflame and watching them run around like chickens with their heads cut off before dying a slow painful death. That was always something fun to watch.

"Arson...?" Star raised an eyebrow. As much as he hated to admit it, he was rather illiterate and had a terrible vocabulary unless describing how amazing he was. Then he could use words like bombastic and grandiloquent to add to his splendor and make him seem genius.

"Arson! Setting something on fire, normally for attention or revenge!" Zik chimed. She couldn't help but be joyous when discussing fire and pain. One time, she and Leo had set an apartment complex on fire just to watch it burn. They killed twelve people that day yet they still had no conscience about it.

"Please don't set the school on fire..." Kid grumbled. The last thing he wanted was DWMA to be more asymmetrical after all the spray painting Zik had done. Most of it consisted of simple taunts and jeers and Stein's sexuality and how he was going to get lung cancer and die young but Zik had also drawn a rather large mural of a zombie riding a unicorn over a rainbow and Leo had done what seemed to be quality Japanese brush art. Kid was starting to question how they'd gotten into DWMA and how daft his father had to be for letting them join. There had to be some reason Shinigami-Sama had let them in, perhaps he'd ask his father about it. Amidst a whirlpool of thoughts and questions, Kid didn't realize Zik was about to pounce on him. She wrapped her arms over his neck and weaved her legs around his waist in the tightest most vigorous hug Kid had ever received. It seemed that every time Zik saw him, she felt just a little more amorous. Leo's fist tensed and his upper lip twitched. He felt a large pang of jealousy wreck his body but was able to quickly dismiss it.

"As you wish, my lord..." Zik whispered softly in Kid's ear. Star poked her in the back in an attempt to grab her attention.

"You wanna go find some magical special sword thing with us? Because the legendary Black Star is going to become even more of a hero than he already is!" Star grinned.

"Excalibur..." Kid corrected over grunts of discomfort and an array of creepy whispers from Zik.

"Fuck. Yes. Here," she hopped off Kid and pulled a small piece of mirror out of her pocket. "I'll give my boy Louise a call. He can give us a ride to the British Isles."

"Awesome!" Star slammed his hand into Zik's and nodded approvingly. Zik put the shard to her ear after punching in a few numbers. Kid took a look at the back of the mirror which was covered in stickers and what appeared to be blood splatter. He continued to worry about her sanity and whether or not she should even be at DWMA.

"Wassup Holmes? ... Yeah I got a favor to ask... Ah, no way man! ... That's fuckin' crazy! ... I'm glad to hear it, Louise... ... ... Me? Oh I'm great! ... Nah I dropped that contract a while ago. ... Yeah, Al Capone really does not have the manners people told me about. ... I was surprised too! ... But really we do keep in touch. ... I like him! He's ballsy! But still he is kinda a dick. ... He gave me the money to get into DWMA, though! So, you know, not all bad. ... ... ... Well, my friends and I need a lift to the British Isles if you could help us out. ... It's me, Leo, this kid with a god complex, and an actual god. ... I know, but weird people are just more fun! Others bore me. You know how I don't like to be bored. ... Alright! Thanks, Holmes! Peace out Mother Fucker! Love you Louise!" Zik tucked the small piece of reflective material back in her jacket and cackled. Kid and Star appeared to be scared out of their minds once again. Not only did Zik know Al Capone but apparently he'd paid for her tuition. This had to mean they had a strong bond. But it wasn't just that, the voices that echoed from her mirror phone sounded extremely threatening and cursed even more than she did. And, to make matters even worse, one of the men seemed to have been named Mother Fucker. To be frank, Zik was becoming more and more like that one person who will fuck you up if you mess with them or their friends. This was a good thing for Star and Kid but a bad thing for anyone she chose to dislike, namely Stein. In fact, Zik was already planning to steal Stein's next set of dissection creatures, tie him to his chair, and force him to watch Leo eat them all. Though she really wanted to slit Stein's throat with his own scalpel and make a lovely chair cover out of his filleted flesh. And even that wouldn't truly express her hatred of that white haired freak.

"You know... Maybe we'll just borrow Soul's motorcycle..." Star suggested. He really wasn't to eager to meet Holmes, Mother Fucker, and Louise anymore.

"No, we asked for a favor and we're gonna use it. Come then, kiddies! And meet just a few of my fabulous connections!" Zik grinned a sharp toothed grin.

"You have connections?" Kid gulped.

"More than a phonebook." she replied. Zik climbed onto Leo and pointed forewords. She was trying extremely hard not to burst into psychotic laughter over Kid and Star's nervous expressions but ended up exploding into rampant giggles. This only made her companions even more frightened. Maybe Star shouldn't have invited her along, even though he thought she was a level of kickass that takes years of hardcore badassitry to reach. Kid's idea of her was much less impressive than Star's seeing as he only liked her perfect symmetry and absolutely detested everything else about her. Especially her hygiene which was lacking in an extreme way. But he didn't dare say anything because Star had explained that she was homeless and was living in the schools boiler room with nothing but a few sodas and some moldy bread to eat. Plus, if Zik took it the wrong way... Kid shivered, he didn't want to think about what would happen. The four students worked their way through endless halls while Zik planted even more fear in their hearts by telling stories of her gang days. Apparently, she'd been the creator of the whole mafia necktie thing and had killed hundreds of people with only her bare hands, two of the kills having been related to people getting their faces ripped off.

"Sadly, Leo and I hadn't yet discovered I was a weapon. Otherwise, I'd be the Death Scythe right now. Just like Justin Law... Oh my god he's so awesome..." Zik gushed. She pushed the door before her open and squealed. Before the quartet was the most insanely amazing car any of them had ever seen. It was painted a sparkly dark black with gorgeous blue flames running down the sides and a big skull for the hood ornament. Engine tubes poked out from under the car and covered the bumper on both sides. Three of the scariest most intimidating men were sitting inside happily, two Hispanic and one African American.

"Zik!" the one in the driver's seat cried.

"Leo!" the one in the second row grinned.

"Other children!" the last one shrieked. Each of them were covered in an assortment of tattoos and the African American one had huge, long, dreadlocks dripping off his head and onto his shirtless chest.

"Louise, Holmes, Mother Fucker!" Zik squeaked. She tackled each of them in a huge hug while Leo gave them all a simple nod of approval. He hopped in the passenger seat and let Zik curl up on his lap, glancing back at Star and Kid. They looked absolutely mortified.

"Kid... I'm scared..." Star admitted blatantly.

"Come on, bitches! Meet my favorite men! Louise is driving then Mother Fucker and Holmes are in the back!" Zik smiled. She watched as Kid and Star very anxiously got in the back and sat down. Louise slammed on the gas and the car went rocketing upwards, causing Zik to nearly tumble out of the car. "Hey! Kid, Star, you guys want some powdered donuts?"

"You mean like cocaine?" Star blurted, having heard powdered donuts to be code for cocaine on a drug show one time. He could only imagine that Louise, Holmes, and Mother Fucker were the sort of guys who sold that sort of stuff.

"Aw, really? Again?" Louise groaned. Kid and Star immediately shrunk in their seats.

"No, no, Louise, lemme explain. We're not drug dealers." Mother Fucker intervened.

"You're not?" Kid and Star said in unison.

"No! We're bakers, man. We work at Rita's Ethnic Goods bakery over in Death City. Rita's my wife, man. She got breast cancer so, me, Louise, and Holmes set up a bakery to raise the money for her chemotherapy. Zik used to come in for freebies every once in a while and if things were tough we'd let her sleep on the flour sacks. She helped us out with a loan shark a few years back, man. Why do all you kids think every scary looking minority sells drugs?" Mother Fucker said. Each one of the men seemed to be equally annoyed by Kid and Star's surprised expressions.

"I'm not even Mexican! I'm Portuguese!" Louise protested.

* * *

><p>So, I thought it would be kinda funny if I put in some random stuff about stereotypes because yesterday my dad and I got gunned down because apparently my dad looks like some scary ass drug dealer. Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who's read this so far and supported me in continuing. And also, I'm going to start putting some jealousy stuff in because I think it'd be cute if Leo was the jealous type. ^.^ Reviews are strongly appreciated and any suggestions will be taken into account! Thanks for reading! Oh, and one more thing, if any of you like Crona a lot, I'm about to post a himXOC story I won't promise anything great because it was mainly a product of severe writer's block but, hey, if anyone needs something to read look for it either later today or tomorrow.<p>

Peace Out Mother Fuckers!


	7. Chapter 7: Excalibur Part 1 And A Half

"Well... That is a cliff." Zik looked blankly at the huge rock before her. Black Star and Kid had gotten over it with little complication, but she and Leo were having problems. Her attempts failed brutally, the first being tunneling under the barrier of rock and soil, and the second, even more ridiculous and nonsensical than the first, was flying over it with the help of a young boy wizard. Of course, the first had ended in torn claws and dirt smeared clothing. After Zik's original plan was finished, she and Leo went prancing about in hopes of finding a magical child. Suprisingly enough, they'd found themselves a hermit willing to do the job.

"No. No way. He's old. I. Want. A. Boy. Wizard." Zik squinted her eyes in Leo's direction. The speechless male sighed, notebook in hand. He swatted the honey colored bangs out of his eyes before beginning to write. In the meantime, Zik glared at the elder man before her. He had a lengthy beard, unkempt and probably harboring a nest of birds or squirrels, and lived in a hovel beneath the mountainous cliff. His eyes were nearly covered by a pair of giant, white eyebrows, making Zik's job of trying to force angry eye contact much harder.

'He's willing to do the job so if you wanna see Excalibur you'll have to sacrifice.' Leo held his sign before Zik, blocking her irate facial expression from hermit's view. At the bottom of the note, as always, Leo had created a little illustration. He knew Zik rarely actually read his notes so he tried to place a picture to explain as often as he could. Not to mention, they seemed to make his partner extremely happy. This time, it was a sort of flow chart. There was a young man holding a wand and below him a figure forged completely of eyebrows and beard hair holding a staff. They both had an arrow pointing from them to a sword and the arrow spouting from the child had an X running through it. Zik studied the drawing meticulously.

"I got it!" she snapped her fingers sharply, "What if we build a giant drill-"

'No.' Leo held up another page, the space at the bottom taken up by an image of how badly that would go for all of them. Zik let herself collapse onto the dirt flooring of the hermit's home. She peered up at the many tubes and jars that were filled up by nameless smokes, powders, and liquids. He certainly was an odd old man, living out by a waterfall and collecting strange substances.

"But Leo! This guys old and boring... I bet he practices snorescery!" Zik cackled at her own horrid pun. Even she enjoyed a disgusting corny joke every once in a while. Plus, word play was one of her talents. Pablo Eggscobar had to be the greatest combination of letters ever created. Leo rolled his eyes and decided to dangle the one person he knew she couldn't resist in front of her.

'You'll miss spending time with Kid.' he pointed to the word 'Kid' with the tip of his marker. Zik was suddenly at the old man's throat, having been turned vicious by the thought of loving a shinigami. She had such a deep enjoyment of Death The Kid it was terrifying. Her once spontaneous long, drawn out hugs were becoming anticipated facts, though Kid was despising them a bit less. He had decided to look at the bright side and realize they were almost always symmetrical. Zik herself was in perfect proportion so that she could be sliced in half vertically and remain the same on both sides. Most children in class had fingernails that weren't exact, but Zik's claws had stopped growing so they all measured with perfection. Her teeth were exact as well, pointy but set correctly so that no tooth differed from another. Something that was actually quite hard to find.

Kid had begun to find a few tidbits of physical appearance that he liked about Zik, but her personality was an amazing turn off. She was brutish and cruel, and she found a way to turn her somewhat childish wants into absolute adult needs. Leo was much more understanding of the child's amazingly crude behavior, in fact, he'd come to enjoy it. He found it fun that she could twist any stupid desire into a completely reasonable need. Her point for wanting a child sorcerer had been that their magic would be fresher and therefore wouldn't have many, if any, malfunctions. Of course, with a wizard practice made perfect and having a seasoned bard fly them over the cliff would be much safer in the long run, but Zik was able to make a seemingly powerful argument.

"We want up that cliff, you hear me old man?" Zik growled through her painfully pointed teeth. The gruff personality Leo had only just been thinking about was showing through.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Wow~ It has been SO long since I last updated! Consider this a sort of warm up chapter...? I'll probably just replace this one with something longer and uload the seventh. That is if I get some reviews! Oh and, random fun fact here, just so you know I wrote this on the back of a horse in like ten minutes! Look at my possibly improved writing skills!<strong>_

_**AND REVIEW.**_

_**NOW.**_

_**~ZK**_


End file.
